Reflection on my writing: I had an idea that I wanted to write a poem about someone who hurt me from my past that I am still trying to let go of. When I first started to write it, it seemed very angry and felt less of a poem and more like a journal entry to myself. I wanted it to acknowledge that I knew I did not deserve what I allowed the person in the poem to do, but still let them run me over. What guided me was really the idea of what I should of said and the fact that I am still trying to tell myself I do not need this person in my life. Sometimes when I would start writing my mind was racing and I would just have to put my drafty draft poem away. It took me a while to really think of the words I wanted to use and that can be shown throughout the pages as I kept crossing things out and there is even a page where the poem just abruptly stopped. This process honestly was not that easy for me. Sometimes poems to me click but other times its like I have writers’ block, like I am thinking too much instead of just letting my hands wander on the page. I think what I find important about my writing in this is how I use pen. We make mistakes and I wanted my mistakes to be shown, I wanted to show the raw process of creating this poem and how many changes it actually took until I really liked it.

Reflection on my bookmaking: Before I wrote the content, I made a cover page, but once I was finished with what was inside, I re-made the cover. I did not want it to be “basic” with a broken heart, I mean that would make it sappy, I wanted the cover to reveal more. What I did is I took an old picture of me and this person who the poem is about and cut it up in odd shapes, kind of like a broken puzzle because my relationship with that person is broken. I spread them out so that you know theres a person, but none of the pieces fit or make sense, just like how it does not make sense for me to be connected to this person anymore. The back cover is the same, I wanted it to seem simple. Within the inside, I really filled the pages with writing so there is no drawing, its just the words; process of my writing. One page I did end up putting a broken heart, just because this person really did break something inside of me that I do not think can be mended back together. My hopes is that people can digest that whoever this person is, they really shook things up for me. Its a little conflicting too, the words, the fact that I used a happy moment with this person and cut it up for the cover and back page, I kinda wanted it to be messy.

To the boy who was never mine:

For every truth I said, you used to your advantage.

Unworthy of my love, a truth I left unspoken

I let you break a heart thats already been stolen

never mine, but you cross the boundaries as if I wasn’t already

broken.